top 10 dumbest things to do after reading Twilight
by blackbite
Summary: This is something I just wrote up when I was bored. I was trying to remember all the dumb things I've done after reading Twilight, and voila! This little ditty was born. If you have any stupid moments, I'd like to hear them, because I've had plenty....
1. Chapter 1

top 10 stupidest things I've done after reading Twilight

10. i bought an air freshener that smells like i imagine Edward smells like and plugged it in my room immediately. of course, i am constantly sniffing the air.

9. When traveling through Iowa with my cousin, we saw the sign (and, yes, this is a real place) of a town called Edwardsville. We forced my mom to let us get out, while we bowed to the sign.

8. i have put baby powder on my face in an attempt to look pale, then applied glitter to myself and stepped outside, enjoying my vampire-ness.

7. i convinced myself that a certain crayola marker looked like jacob black, so i destroyed it with a sledgehammer.

6. whenever its rainy, i somehow manage to convince myself that i live in forks.

5. when stopping at a local CVS, i saw a large van with a huge dent in one of the doors. I began to hyperventilate, thinking it was Tyler Crowley's car, and began to look around for Edward and Bella.

4. In memory of my best friend, Bella Swan, i died my hair brown and requested brown contacts.

3. I've put red food coloring in my water to make it look like blood.

2. i now dislike tan people.

and the all-time stupidest thing I've done is:

1. when shaving my legs, i accidentally cut myself. i looked at the blood for a moment before rubbing it all over my lips in an attempt to look like I'd just had a blood feast.

well, thanks for reading, i know its pretty stupid, but wasn't that the point? : )


	2. Chapter 2

**note to all readers: this chapter is rated T just in case some of the young ones are frightened by my 'language'**

(okay, so i know that i don't really have any LANGUAGE in here, i just wanted to have that up there so that no one gets mad at me. ) okay, so i just want to say "thank you to all of you who reviewed". and, by the way, there was a whole frikkin BUNCH of you! i am still in awe at the amount of reviews i got. in awe i tell you, in awe.

and some of the things you have done had me howling with laughter. (its not just that they were so INCREDIBLY hilarious, i'm just sleep-deprived.)

so, i would just like to tell you a few more Twilight oddities from me personally.

well, one of my friends (whose name i will not state, because of stranger-danger and all that crap.(i am VERY aware of stranger-danger. cuz ive heard stories about people who were stalked, and i know that if i were stalked, then Edward would have to come and save me.....on the other hand COME STALK ME EVERYBODY! LET EDWARD COME!!!! :) just kidding. if you stalk me, i will alert the authorities.) i may not be afraid of vampires, but i am terrified out of my ??-year-old skin of stalkers.....)

so we were in the lab, talking about Twilight (duh. my friend and i are, like, the main Twilight lovers in school) when I said

"What if Edward were to come into this room at this very moment? I'd be all like (and here is the part where i crossed my eyes (i am a well-known eye-crosser)) 'whose blood do you find more potent."

and then my friend jutted her wrists out toward me, shouting, "kill me first!"

ya. that got us some wierd looks from the teacher.

another time i was sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal while watching my brother attempt to open a bin of apple sauce. he was not succeeding. i told him "Edward would be able to open that."

well, he and his male pride got all pissed and he told me "Edward is just a fictional vampire." that, of course, got me pissed. yes, Edward was a fictional vampire. A **dead sexy** fictional vampire.

so, i retorted, "Well you're a fictional white boy."

and with that, the conflict was resolved.

oh, and i'd also like to take this time to thank all of you who added me to your little 'favorites' thing. i haven't written anything else yet, which is shame on me. however, i am working on one, and i PROMISE to have it on here by the end of next week. (i'm giving myself plenty of time so i don't disappoint you all.)

anyway, thanks again

~blackbite ;):):):):):):)


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